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Archive for the tag “motivation”

DIG DEEPER…6 STEPS TO HELP DADS FIND THEIR PASSION

Passion aint easy, but it sure is fun! That’s a motto that I have adapted over the years. Finding out what your passion is can be hard. Figuring out what the one thing is that drives you and makes you want to get up and give 150% every day is no easy task. In today’s world who really has time for passion when you have to rob one bill collector named Peter just so you can make a payment plan to try and pay Paul? Your kids are eating you out of house, home, and anything else that they set their eyes on. I mean you barely even have 30 minutes a day to sh*t, shower, and shave, right? Yup…I get it trust me I do. But in the midst of all of those things that are pulling you lies something called Passion.  As fathers we have to not only find out what our passion is, but we are responsible for instilling a sense of passion and purpose into our children. Passion is an emotion that reflects a strong desire or deep interest in something or someone. So before I go any further I want you to take a moment and think about what are the three things that you are most passionate about in life. Maybe a love for your community is the thing that turns you into an outspoken activist when you witness injustice or maybe you have such a strong passion for music that you can’t sleep at night without downloading the latest songs on iTunes. It could be that gardening is your passion. Don’t laugh, there are some brothers out there who are pretty nice when it comes to the green thumb. The things that came to your mind when you thought about your passion are the things that you should be pursuing diligently with every fiber in your body. And if nothing came to mind, don’t even worry, because I will cover that a little later. Some people think that just because certain things happen in their lives that they can’t find their passion. There are also some folks who find something that they are passionate about, and lose interest once the world gives them a few swift kicks in the backside.   Life is life, and things are going to happen that are beyond your control. Some of the stuff that you will go through will be the exact things that you never thought would happen in your life. It’s what you do and how you react to those things that will determine how far you go and what you will achieve. We all get stuck in those ruts that feel like the world is against us.  And I’m not saying that finding your passion is going to stop those feelings from happening.  But once you start making clear and concise decisions based on where you want to go not based on where you are you will begin to see a world of difference in your life. I’m here to tell you that once you find your passion it’s like an immovable object that will stay with you.  The thing about it is passion won’t just come and sit in front of you and say “Hey..whassup?!?! Here I Am” You have to go and get it. You have to find it and make sure that you take it with you wherever you go. So, what I have done is create six steps that I think will help you find your passion.  I know as men and as fathers it can be hard for us to communicate and express ourselves at certain times so you may not know where to go or who to talk to when life gets you down, but once you find that passion and begin to act on it you will have an escapism so to speak when those tough times come.

1.  Start with what interests you –  Remember earlier when I had you think about the things that drive you. That was the first step in finding your passion. The things that we are usually most passionate about are usually the things that somehow touch our everyday life.   So take a moment and write down those things in your life that you just couldn’t live without.  One thing that I know I couldn’t live without is my daughter.  It is because of her that you are even reading this blog.  Fatherhood is one of my passions and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. If you would have asked me ten years ago if I thought I would be passionate about fatherhood and issues pertaining to fathers I would have given you a resounding “Hell NO!” But hey, as we grow older our priorities begin to change and the things that were small and minuscule become gigantic and larger than life.

2. Create and establish goals for yourself – In order to work any plan or establish any tangible results you must first define what your goals are.  I don’t mean goals like ” I want to be rich in 5 years” or ” I want a 10 bedroom house with Brazilian models feeding me ice cream on Wednesdays and Fridays”. There is nothing wrong with thinking those types of thoughts and wanting them to become a reality, but first we have to figure out what are you going to be doing to achieve those results.   I am talking about goals that have to do with helping you to become a better you and also find what it is that drives you.  You have to begin to live your life with a sense of purpose.  Make a conscious decision that THIS is what you want to do and nothing will come between you and achieving your desired results.   When you set your goals you should start off with a big picture and then break down smaller objectives that are going to help you get to the large goal. Keep breaking those objectives down until you get to where you are today and figure out what it is that you can do right now at this very moment to take you to the next step.  Once you get to the next step, just keep working on it until you get to the step after that.  Passion is a process. It’s not something that is just going to happen overnight.

3. Go out and play –  Once you have figured out what it is that you are passionate about and you have set the goals that you wish to obtain, what else is there to do besides go out and start exploring?!?!? If you are passionate about something I am willing to bet any amount of money that you can find someone out in the world who is not only passionate about the exact same thing that you are, but has also been where you are and knows where you are trying to go.  You have to get out there and experience things for yourself.  Start touching and gathering those building blocks that are going to become the foundation of your success.  You have to meet people who have similar interests and are willing to share their knowledge with you.  If no one in  your circle of friends shares the same interest that you do, then guess what…It’s time to start making a new circle!

4.  Share your journey with others   I’m a huge fan of social networks.  Today, there is a social network and a website or a chat room  for EVERYTHING!If you don’t have anyone at home or in your circle of friends who shares the interest that you have in your passion, that’s fine. Just take yourself online and document your journey for those who have an idea of what you are attempting to do.   When you share your current thoughts and ideas with other people it makes it easier to create new thoughts and new ideas.  You would be amazed at how interested people can be when you tell them about something that makes you happy.

5.  Forget about the money–  A lot of times when people talk about passion they immediately tie it into prosperity.  Well I am NOT one of those people. I understand that we all have to make a living and provide for our families.  But, passion is the thing that you would do whether you would get paid for it or not.  Once you start using money to motivate you, your judgment becomes cloudy and you begin to do things that could turn out to be the exact opposite of what you stood for in the beginning.  I’m not saying that you should not be an astute businessman because in today’s world there is a market for everything.  Just don’t let the money determine how you are going to pursue what it is that was meant for you.  Use your gifts and your talents and the reward is going to come.

6.Have Fun – As important as I think it is to find your passion, I think the most important thing to do in the midst of everything else is to have fun. Enjoy life…I mean really, no one gets  out of here alive.  If you find something that brings joy to your heart  I think you should do it. It’s important for our children to not only see us chasing our dreams, but to know that we are enjoying ourselves as we do it.  If you have something that you are passionate about and it becomes tedious to even think about it, you may want to go back up to step #1 and start all over again looking for a new and improved passion.  The thing about life is that we have the ability to change our direction at any given moment.  If you go through those first four steps and find out that things aren’t working in your favor then you can go right back and start working on something else.  As long as you are growing and learning from each and every experience you are on the right road. The key to finding your passion is motivation.  Because as I said before life is going to hit you slam upside your head on more than one occasion.  Your desire to succeed and your will to win have got to be greater than any obstacle that may come before you.  You have to dig deep…Find that passion and let everyone know that THIS is what you were made to do and THIS is what you will be doing!

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